she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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