Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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