I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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