then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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