Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize