nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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