I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she peed on how many people?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
