We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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