Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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