Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize