At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
