No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
