I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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