I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there's paper in my vomit.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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