these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
