Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
