I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
