Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
