We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
