I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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