HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
