i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
