ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
