Please don't use social media to get back at me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize