Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
