Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
