I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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