We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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