this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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