the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
we're so committed to being not committed
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