People in love make me want to vomit
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
