On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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