No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
