I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
