So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize