i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
