on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
