they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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