Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My cat gives me a boner
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
