Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
