To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
