I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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