More tranny stories later!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize