i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize