Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
