So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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