I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
