No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
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You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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