I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
