Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
