It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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