you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
