I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
