lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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