I'm gonna have a badass scar
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
