Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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