white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
