i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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