I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
