Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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