thus making me awesome and them whores
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
