She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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