Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
