Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
