i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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